Power of Attraction vs Attraction of Power
by ickle-s-10
Summary: Albus tries to explain his feelings towards Grindelwald. ADGG, obviously.


Aberforth had approached him again, asking how he put up spending so much time with that "awful power-hungry creep." He hadn't really answered, just shrugged him off, telling his younger brother that they were just making plans, that it was nothing important, that he would explain it to him when he was older.

As usual though, Aberforth persisted, he wasn't as dumb as he acted, that much was obvious. But Albus just _couldn't_ explain why he spent so much time next door, why he was making plans to do things that he knew were wrong. He couldn't admit to himself, let alone explain to his brother, how much the power attracted him, and besides, he knew that it wasn't just the power drawing him so close.

Of course, that had to be part of it; the prospect of being really _appreciated_ for a change, not just being liked by his teachers and admired by his friends, was certainly something that he'd always desired. But there _were_ other reasons, that much was impossible to ignore. And yet, as unbearable as it was to think about the countless numbers of Muggles that would suffer and die, he knew that he would almost be able to live freely with it if only Gellert would just _notice_ him.

That much would be impossible to explain to Aberforth though. "Of course he's _noticed_ you Albus, you've practically moved_ in_ next-door," Aberforth would say with an eye-roll. "Would you just speak _plainly_ for once?" And with that, he'd walk away, muttering to himself about the real extent of Albus' "geniusness."

So no, explaining it all to his brother was certainly out of the question. But if only he had someone to just _talk_ to about it, someone who would give him, if not advice, than at least the comfort to know that he wasn't alone.

Ironically enough, in these situations he'd grown to rely on Gellert for support, but that obviously wouldn't work. Who else was there though? Because honestly, as arrogant as it sounded, Albus never had problems, he never needed advice. He was always the one that people went to when _they_ were confused.

He'd even been so lost as to consult Ariana, though it hadn't yielded any helpful results.

"It's just…I feel like he's only using me for my mind, you see?" he had asked her, foolishly looking into her young, confused face and expecting a helpful answer. "I mean, if he really got to know _me_, not just the part of me that he wanted to see, maybe we could be…more."

"It'll be alright, Albus," she'd said, patting him on the arm and smiling comfortingly.

"But…but _no_, no it _won't_. I can't _take_ this, what am I supposed to _do_?" he'd answered, louder than he meant to.

She had started to cry immediately, looking scared and confused. It was his fault, he knew, he shouldn't have gone to her for help in the first place, and he _certainly_ shouldn't have raised his voice.

Predictably, Aberforth had come running in, giving his brother a scathing look as he did so. "Why can't you just leave her alone?" Aberforth had shouted, which only made Ariana cry harder. "Can't you just give her a break?" he'd asked, quieter this time.

Albus had almost his mouth to reply, but it was just too much, he couldn't deal with his family's problems on top of his own, and he'd walked away silently.

He wasn't really sure what he'd been trying to achieve out of the talk with his sister anyways. He had known it would be pointless to discuss most of the attraction that Gellert held for him, particularly the physical part, but he'd thought that _maybe_ she'd been able to understand the emotional part.

But even that, he knew, was asking too much of his sister. It was why she preferred Aberforth over him.

He'd tried to convince himself, time and time again, that he didn't really _need_ to tell anyone about it. As long as _he_ knew that he was in love with Gellert, did it really matter what anyone else knew? There were so many other things in the world that he seemed to understand better than anyone else, why should this one be any different?

Except that it _was_ different, of course it was, and that was the fact that Albus had given up trying to ignore on an August afternoon, sitting in Gellert's bedroom and poring, as usual, over books and plans.

"Albus, how smart do you really think Muggles are?" Gellert asked his friend, looking up over his book. "I mean, how much of a change do you really think that they'll notice?"

Lost in thought, as usual, it took Albus a minute to respond. "Quite a lot, I would think…I know that they're ignorant of magic, but there are other things which they've surpassed Wizards on."

Gellert raised an eyebrow quizzically. "If you _say_ so…" he replied, giving Albus a skeptical look.

The two were quiet for a minute, busy reading and occasionally writing down notes.

"Gellert…" Albus started, unable to stand his secrets anymore. "Do you…I mean, what do you…what'll we do when we're done with all of this?"

"Taking over the world, you mean?" asked Gellert with a look of incredulousness. "I don't know…maybe _rule it_?"

Albus couldn't decide if he was happy or not that Gellert had misunderstood the question. "No…I mean, I know that, but…what will…_we_ do? Together?"

Gellert looked at his friend as though Albus had said something incredibly stupid. "What are you _talking_ about?" he asked. "We'll still be _friends_, obviously, I thought we agreed that we couldn't do any of this alone."

Albus sighed. "Never mind," he said, after a moment. He pretended to return to his book, but he couldn't take in a word of the text in front of him.

"You ask such weird _questions_ sometimes, Albus. You're lucky you're smart," Gellert replied with a twisted smile.

Albus didn't answer. He was still partly relieved that Gellert hadn't detected any change in his mood, while partly upset that Gellert hadn't caught on to what Albus had been trying to tell him.

After a few more minutes of silently reading and note-taking, Albus, whose stomach was now twisting itself into knots, spoke again. "What I meant…before…was just that…people who— spend their whole lives together…they have to have things in common, right?"

Confused, Gellert glanced up at Albus. "Well…well, yeah, of course they do…what are you _talking_ about? _We_ obviously have a lot in common, I mean, ruling Muggles and restoring power to its rightful place…we're on the same page, right?"

"That wasn't…exactly…what I meant…" Albus muttered to his book, wishing that he hadn't gotten himself into this conversation; it was obvious that Gellert only cared about the power.

Gellert, however, refused to drop the subject. "Then…in the future, you mean? When we're old and dying or something, we'll still get along…_obviously_, we'll be ruling together…"

"No…" Albus mumbled to his book again. Taking a deep breath, he looked up. "What I mean is…take away the plans and books and the ruling and the 'Greater Good,' and this _future_ that we've planned out…and would we still have…us?"

Gellert looked at Albus as if he had three eyes. "Albus, all we _do_ is discuss the future, what else _would_ we do?"

"I—I don't know…" he answered. "Just…just you and me. Together."

For the longest seconds in Albus' life, Gellert just stared at him. "What are you…you're making…I don't understand you." Gellert started laughing, apparently under the impression that the whole thing had been a joke. "What was that you were saying about Muggles before then? Because I really think that it will only take a month or so to get all of Europe…"

Albus didn't answer, nor was he listening to what Gellert was saying. He had turned his attention back to his book, and was trying in vain to block out the fact that he'd known all along what Gellert truly cared about.

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**Reviews would be wonderful...**


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